🌐 Justin's Blog

The personal blog of Justin Ferriman

Sometimes we carry a lot simply out of habit, and it prevents us from true happiness.

We all have baggage, it's part of the human experience. The baggage we accumulate is just a byproduct part of the living, learning, and moving on. The messed up part, though, is that we continue to carry it with us. This is something that I've started to analyze in my own life. Specifically, examining what I'm holding onto and carrying around with me every day simply out of habit.

Introspection is hard work. I find that when I start to dig, the feelings resurrect and for a brief moment in time, those feelings are just as intense as they were the first day I felt them. But logic, and perspective, soon jump in, and the emotions are muted.

I came across the quote below that I really liked. It could be applied to many things in life, but the first thing that came to my mind was the unnecessary weight that we carry on our backs because we're not ready to let ourselves be free from old emotions.

"Once the rain is over, an umbrella becomes a burden to everyone."

It's a simple metaphor, but a significant one.

The rain speaks to the issues that we have in life. The big problem or event that we have lived through. When we're in the middle of the storm, it is disorienting, immediate, and sometimes scary. Our “fight or flight” instincts are triggered. But it doesn't storm forever. The intensity diminishes to a trickle, and then eventually the sun emerges.

The umbrella represents the immediate emotions and mental state of the storm. As you live through something difficult, your survival mind takes over. You mentally protect yourself and you power through. You use that “umbrella” to prevent yourself from getting soaked and overwhelmed. But what good is it to carry that big, wet umbrella once the storm is over? It no longer serves a purpose, and if anything, it becomes inconvenient to hold onto on a sunny day.

I'm learning to close and put away my “umbrellas” in life by focusing on the present moment, recognizing that there is no storm, and therefore, there is no need for an umbrella.

#happiness

There's nowhere else in the world like it.

After eleven action-packed days in Hawaii, Lorena and I have returned to California. This also marks a temporary break in our travel for a few months, after a whirlwind of activity since February.

The trip was my idea. In January, Lorena asked me what I wanted to do for my 40th birthday. At first, I said “nothing.” But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do something special for reaching 40 years of life. I love the ocean, and I love the beach. I began to think about where I would want to go to celebrate with Lorena, and Hawaii came to mind.

An Activity Every Day

Something I enjoyed about our recent trip to Sedona was that we had a planned activity every day. Some days it was one thing, and other times it was two, but the nice thing was that we didn't have to figure out what to do when we were there.

So, I did the same thing for Hawaii. Each day I had an activity planned. I bought tickets in advance for the things that required tickets, so all we had to do was just show up. We did make one or two modifications to the agenda based on how we were feeling and the weather, but overall we stuck to it.

Some of the things we did:

  • Pillbox Hike
  • Koko Crater Stair Hike
  • Snorkeling at Shark's Cove
  • Waimea Valley Falls
  • Spiritual guide session
  • Kailua Farmer's Market
  • Massages
  • Lanikai Beach
  • Iolani Palace
  • Byodo-In Temple
  • Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden
  • Kualoa Ranch
  • Swam with dolphins in the open ocean
  • Waimea Bay Beach

And obviously, we took time to explore between the events that we had planned.

But we didn't love everything.

Overall, we enjoyed most things about Oahu, but there were a few things that started to become challenging.

First, we eat primarily vegan (except for fish now and again, which we enjoyed on this trip). Hawaii does not have a ton of vegan-only restaurants. In fact, they really only had one. We did find vegan meal options at the restaurants that we chose, but none of them were that great. Overall, we rated our food experience a 6 out of 10 for the trip.

Next, parking. My goodness, I've never seen a city that has been so poorly set up for parking. Living in the LA area, I'm used to hunting for parking. Honolulu is next level difficult. There is very little street parking, and also not many parking structures. We often needed to park several blocks away from where we were trying to go.

Finally, because the buildings on the island are a bit older, over half of the restaurants we visited didn't have bathrooms. This was annoying after some time. You usually had to walk around to find a public bathroom. Many of the restaurants did have one bathroom, but they were almost always “employees only.”

A Special Place

There is just something magical about Hawaii for me. I think it's because it's so isolated from the rest of the world, there's a sense of community and responsibility for nature. There is no arguing over climate change, what constitutes littering, pollution, and the like. Everyone just “gets it”. You just don't see this in many places.

Our trip was eye-opening on many levels. We have even started to talk about the possibility of living in Hawaii. Not anytime soon (we just moved), but we may take more trips to the islands to see if that's a feeling that grows. If that is indeed in our future one day, then it would certainly be the island of Oahu where there is access to Honolulu, the largest city. Oahu has about one million people on it, easily the most populated. Because of this, it has access to most of today's modern conveniences.

But for now, we are back in Culver City. I must admit, it feels great to be home. No trips are planned at the moment, but we have a few ideas – including a return to Hawaii.

#personal

Doing what must be done.

In April 2023, I signed up for Gracie Jiu-jitsu. I was nervous, but excited, to learn an art that so many people rave about. The Gracie approach, I learned, was a great introduction into the sport. Slow and methodical, without any hard rolling (sparring) until a little later.

The problem is, I never fully reached that “later” phase. And when I did, I had yet another injury setback.

The whole reason that I started BJJ in the first place was because of a bicep tendon issue I sustained from heavy lifting and Muay Thai (heavy bag work). I couldn't punch anymore, at least not regularly. So, I turned to BJJ. It was the perfect answer to my desire for learning martial arts. Or, so I thought.

BJJ Aggravated The Issue

While the slow pace of Gracie Jiu-jitsu allowed me to participate and learn, I was itching to do the fun stuff. The rolling. After 10 months, I actually left Gracie Jiu-jitsu to try other gyms where I could spar right away. I ended up really hurting my bicep tendon again, which sidelined me for five months or so.

I didn't want to give up, though. I slowly worked my way back through Gracie Jiu-jitsu. I came back and earned my third stripe and fourth stripe. When we moved, I joined a Gracie Jiu-jitsu affiliate in the area where I finally, after nearly two years, earned my Combatives belt.

But during my belt test, I hurt my bicep tendon yet again. I couldn't even do the easier classes without it flaring up, so I started rehab (again) with the goal of getting back as quick as possible.

Then things got worse...

As I was rehabbing my shoulder, an old soccer injury flared up: nerve damage from a herniated disc in my neck. Ever since 2013, I haven't had full feeling in my left index finger. I noticed that I was additional sensory loss in my thumb on the same side, and “zapping” pain when I would stretch my arm out too far.

So, off to the neurologist, who confirmed that my C6 vertebrae is impinging the nerve. The nerve is swollen due to some Lagree Method classes that I've been taking since January (and often what I chose to do while rehabbing from BJJ).

Deciding To Move On

I'm 40 now. And while not old, I'm not young, and part of being at this stage of life is knowing your body's limits. My spirit wants to do BJJ, but it's not a good choice for my long-term health.

I'll admit, it hurts. I am not just giving up learning a new, useful skill, but also giving up on an entire community that I enjoyed. That part sucks, and now I'm left feeling a little misplaced. I grew up with team sports and community around athletics. I wanted it so bad with BJJ, but I never could gain any real momentum. I'll miss the gym culture and the anticipation of learning something new.

For now, I rest and heal up as I search for something more sustainable for my body.

#personal

According to this measure, we are failing.

Social media is often just an endless list of angry political complaints and disbelief these days, at least in my feeds.

Every day, I hear about a new policy, or action taken by the administration, that seems like it should be impossible. It makes me angry, but the root of that anger is sadness. I'm sad that we have fallen so far away from the values of our country used to hold dear. Not just for our citizens, but for the world.

The late President Jimmy Carter said it best...

"The measure of a society is found in how they treat their weakest and most helpless citizens."

Given where we are at today, how would The United States measure up to this evaluation? I think that we all know the answer. For the next four years, hundreds of thousands of people will suffer.

One day I hope we attempt to turn it around, though by then the damage will be done, and it may very well be too late.

#politics

We made it back to Mexico City for a visit, possibly the only one this year.

Typically, by this point in the year, Lorena and I have already traveled to Mexico City to visit her family. However, with the move, selling our previous home, and going to Connecticut and Sedona, we just haven't had the time.

Until now!

We recently returned from a week visit in Mexico City to see Lorena's parents. We actually saw them a couple of weeks prior to the trip as they came to visit us in Culver City for four days. It was nice to see them in the heart of Mexico, a place that I've really fallen in love with over the years.

No Plans are the Best Plans

We didn't have any major plans for this trip. I went to Las Luchas (Mexican wrestling) with my father-in-law on one of the days as a delayed birthday present. It was unlike anything I've ever seen. These guys are true athletes. More akin to gymnasts than the stereotypical wrestler.

Aside from that, we went for walks in the forest (yes, there is a huge forest in Mexico City), at some good vegan food at a restaurant that we like, and just pretty much relaxed.

Hasta Luego

These trips to Mexico City always hold a special place in my heart. Even though I've been going for years now, they always remind me of some of my first visits. I remember how special it felt being there. I loved seeing where Lorena grew up, and discovering the depths of the culture. Now that I'm fluent in Spanish, it's even more enjoyable.

The downside to the trip was that on the second to last day, Lorena came down with something. She was achy and had a fever. That put a little damper on the trip as she tried to recover before the big travel day. Then, on the travel day, I came down with something similar... except I was puking on the plane. Yeah... that wasn't fun. Turns out, we had COVID. Our first time.

At this point, we don't know when we'll be back. I'd venture to guess it'll be sometime in 2026.

#personal

Set yourself free by freeing yourself of expectations.

I've tried my hardest not to expect anything in life, because that's when I get hurt the most, or angry, or just let down. It has been something that I've been aware of, but I've failed to really practice it in my every day life the way that I should. Because you know what? It's hard. It's hard as hell.

It's not that I expect things of other people. I mean, I expect the basics like everyone does (to be treated with respect, for example). But I do expect things out of my life. Or, I expect something that will come to pass. And when that doesn't happen, it has a way of tanking me. This is especially true if I have a repeating expectation for my life.

Yet every notable philosopher says that the key to happiness is to let go of these expectations, especially if they are outside our control. The fact that their words live on through the ages likely means that they were onto something.

This short post is my reminder to practice acceptance first. Expectations put me into a land of hypotheticals. Acceptance forces me to be present, and that's the way I want to live my life. That's when I'm at my best.

#happiness

Patience is a virtue, but in business, it can also be a weakness.

Entrepreneurship is often about finding balance. If you're building a product, it's understanding the number of features you put into a major version to make it newsworthy, versus causing too much confusion. Or, if you're in services, you balance the time you spend with each client so that you maximize your time, but the client doesn't feel ignored.

Opportunities are briefly open doors. If you don't walk through them when they're open, they could shut, and you'll be locked out forever.

The trick is to always be on the lookout for these doors, and to take advantage of proper timing. Those that do this more often than not end up winning in their respective markets.

If You Move Too Slow, You Lose

When I'm working with my clients, I always stress the importance of having a sense of urgency. If they have a good idea, they need to execute. Otherwise, it could be too late (for a variety of factors).

If you move too slowly, your competitor may beat you to the sexy new feature.

Or, you may enter into slower sales months around the holidays, and your message isn't heard.

Or, your competitor has their own release, and they make more noise than you.

I could go on, but the point is that you can only control your timing and nothing else. If you keep waiting, you keep losing future business.

"Never put off today what makes you money tomorrow!"

Money isn't everything, but it's the solution to many issues. Putting off competitive initiatives for too long hurts your ability to grow your business. I think at its core, we understand this as entrepreneurs. But why do we do it?

If you have some level of success already, then a large part of that can be attributed to being in the right place, at the right time. While this sounds like luck (and it is on some level), the reality is that you increased your chances of being in that right place at the right time by the sense of urgency you had in the ideas you implemented.

But then something changed. You got comfortable.

I've been guilty of this, too. It's easy to achieve a comfortable level of success and then slow down too much. Taking a more measured approach is well and good, but it's very easy for this to slip into a form of laziness. You already have predictable income for the business, so you don't need to “rush” anything, and as a result, you miss the timing.

Move Fast, Stay Sharp

If you're reading this, it's probably because, deep down, you know you've been moving a little too slowly. Maybe you've convinced yourself that you're being “strategic” or “waiting for the right moment”, but more often than not, that moment never comes unless you're the one to create it.

Success doesn’t wait around. Neither should you.

The best businesses aren’t just the ones with great ideas, they’re the ones that act on them quickly. So whatever it is you've been sitting on, such as a new offer or campaign, you need to move now! Get it out into the world. Iterate if you must, but don’t wait for perfect.

Because in business, speed doesn't just matter. It wins.

#entrepreneurship

The market has spoken: Tesla is poison.

For as long as I can remember, Republicans have championed capitalism's free market as the ultimate standard. The premise is overly simplistic: let private companies compete for offering the best service or product. I could explain why this actually isn't beneficial in certain segments (the most obvious of which being health insurance), but I'll refrain for now.

The point is, billionaires like Elon love the free market because they attribute its existence to their financial situation. The market speaks loudly, and boy is it fun when it loves your business.

But now, we see that the market has had a change of heart towards Elon and Tesla, and the fact that he can barely stand it is hilarious on many levels.

Billionaires Have Low EQ

The problem with billionaires is that their emotional intelligence has been stunted. They live in a bubble of yes-men and continuous praise because everyone wants something from them. Suddenly, they start to believe that they're the smartest and funniest person in the room.

Elon suffers from this more than most billionaires, and it explains why he is on the verge of tears when talking about how “unfair” the treatment of Tesla has been by the “radical left”.

Sorry, Elon. The market is not radical. It is a mirror. Your core customer base (liberals) disapproves of you, and therefore the products that you sell. You should see this as a sign to change, but since your inner circle will continue to tell you how great of a guy you are, you will label this free market feedback as some sort of conspiracy theory.

Karma

Elon celebrated hacking away at the programs and departments that hundreds of thousands (millions, perhaps) rely upon for assistance. Employees of these programs are out on the streets. All the while, Elon danced on stage with a chainsaw.

But the moment that he starts to lose some of his livelihood, he calls people like Governor Tim Walz a “creep” and “huge jerk”. I'm sorry, but I simply cannot get on board with a narrative that the richest man in the world is actually the victim here.

If the market disapproves (and votes with their dollars), then you either make fundamental changes or go down on your ship – though at this point I don't think there is any change he could make that would save Tesla now.

#politics

A simple quote that I really like.

Sometimes you come across a quote that really speaks to you. I think I saw this on social media, but wanted to publish here for future reference. It's a good reminder that we are not the result of what happens to us, but rather how we react to it.

"Healing doesn't mean that the damage never existed. It means that the damage no longer controls your life."

#happiness

A soul's journey in the desert.

Lorena and I just got back from a five-day trip to Sedona, Arizona. It was our first time visiting, and I have to say, it was really nice!

The last time we were in a similar landscape was when we went to a wedding in San Carlos, but this was also right next to the Sea of Cortes. Admittedly, I didn't take the time to really appreciate the surroundings as we were rushing around a bit and the trip was only for a few days.

I'm typically not one for desert landscapes as my preference leans towards beaches, while Lorena likes the mountains. Our trips up to this point have incorporated one or the other. After this trip, that remains the same, but I think it's safe to say that we both have an appreciation for the beauty of the desert!

Working on our Higher Selves

While we took time for some small hikes, the major reason for this trip was for us to participate in a handful of self-discovery activities. Each day we had something scheduled.

We had some sessions together and individual ones revolving around meditation, mindfulness, inner-healing, and spiritual guidance. It was a unique and new experience for me – I really enjoyed it and would definitely do it again! For example, we did some “life purpose” sessions, massages, mini-hikes to see places of spiritual significance (called, “vortexes”).

I'm realizing at this point of my life that doing self-work should always be a priority, and it never ends. We are constantly learning and evolving over time who we are, and taking moments to set aside the noise of life to focus on yourself is always worth it.

I can't say if we'll be back. Not because we didn't like it, but we'll likely choose other places to visit for a new experience. If you haven't been to Sedona, then I highly recommend it, especially if you're into hiking and nature.

#personal

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