🌐 Justin's Blog

Let go of the idea of being in control, and trust that all will be okay.

Trusting a process is hard to do because it often means that you have to give up control, but in reality, it means giving up perceived control. The truth is that we aren't in control of much. When we feel like we are, we are more at ease, but I am beginning to learn that the opposite is true: we are never in control.

When we let go of control, we can finally rest. The mind has to work hard to pretend to be in control. It thinks through all possible scenarios over and over, then determines what your reaction should be to all these scenarios, and then how you should feel about them. Real feelings. Fake events.

Instead, I think it's better to:

• Trust in your instincts.
• Trust in the uncontrollable.
• Trust in your future self's ability.

The human ego is so enormous that we think we can not only control potential outcomes, but that we can also predict the future. I've been reflecting on this lately, and in doing so, I have come to realize that quieting my mind is not a matter of making sure everything is “under control”, but instead it's about stopping an inherent desire to control everything.

Making this mindset shift is incredibly difficult, but necessary if you want to realize a true inner calm in your daily life. I implore you to surrender yourself to the unknown, and to also trust in yourself. Invite peace into your life — you're the only one who can give yourself permission.

#mindfulness

It has taken longer than expected, but I finally earned my fourth stripe in BJJ.

In April 2023, I decided to take up Gracie Jiu-jitsu. Well, a year and a half later, I have finally earned my fourth stripe as a White Belt. Not that I consider myself good. In fact, quite the opposite: I think I'm pretty terrible.

But, I'm better than anyone with no training... so I guess there's that!

The journey has been a long one to this point. I've seen people start after me, and advance quicker than me. However, many (if not most) of these people have also already quit. This is a hobby of determination and consistency. Like learning Spanish, I'm in this for the long run — making incremental improvements along the way.

Slow and Steady

My path has been full of doubt, injuries, taking breaks, starting over, and eventually coming back to my original gym. I spent significant time really coming to terms with the kind of experience I wanted to have with BJJ. I'm not getting any younger, and I realized that I needed to change the way I work out if I want to continue this into my later years.

I'm still a ways off from earning a Blue Belt, but hey, I'm a heck of a lot closer than I was a year ago. I'm grateful for that.

And well, this is the last achievement I'm likely to earn at my current gym as we are set to move to our new home in Culver City pretty soon.

#personal

My favorite place, one final time.

If there is one thing I have been grateful for during our time in San Clemente, it has been the proximity to the ocean. Spending an hour or so on the beach was never disruptive. It made it easy for us to just decide to go without much fuss. I also took multiple walks per week along the path that runs along the beach up to the San Clemente pier. I've always enjoyed the sounds and smells of the ocean.

The beach weather can be hit or miss in October. We've had a lot of fog as of late, and it has been quite chilly. But these last four or five days it has been beautiful. Perfect beach weather, in fact.

But yesterday was a beautiful day, so we decided to spend an hour or so in the sand. The sun was shining, and the water was cold (as is the case with the Pacific Ocean), but that didn't stop me from getting in. It occurred to me that it was also our last time going to the beach here in San Clemente.

By November, we'll have other things on our plate, especially since we are moving before the end of the year to Culver City. So it was good to get one last visit in before that happens. We'll still be close to the beach at our new place, but not less than a mile, like we are today.

All that said, I'm looking forward to going to the beaches around LA. Sure, they'll have a little more activity, but that's part of the fun.

#personal

The often forgotten protection of the First Amendment can only help Automattic.

The very public battle between Matt Mullenweg (Automattic) and WP Engine won't be ending anytime soon. From pettiness to legal challenges, to extremely questionable actions – things have been getting very messy. And not for WP Engine, but for Matt.

Given the actions of Matt over the last few weeks, WP Engine has filed an injunction. Essentially, they are trying to shut him up (and stop his actions) because of the damage he is causing to their company. The law specifically provides them with this option, and while I'm far from a lawyer, it looks to have been used appropriately. We'll see how a judge rules on the matter.

An Attack on Free Speech?

In response to this action by WP Engine, Matt wrote a blog post on how his First Amendment right has been attacked.

I can understand this reaction, on some level. No one likes to be told to “stop talking”. The emotional response is often to cite it as a violation of the First Amendment. Now, if Matt really wanted to, he could keep doing what he has been doing, but I suspect his legal team has advised against it.

The First Amendment protects free expression from government censorship or retaliation, but what people often forget is that it also inherently includes the right to remain silent.

Staying silent is prudent, and it's often underutilized. People love to spout off, and they should if they should feel so inclined. However, the sound of silence can be deafening.

The ability to not be goaded into fiery online spats and to hold your word, and peace, close to the vest is a virtue that not many people have. Very few, in fact. And it becomes exceptionally difficult when you feel like you're being attacked, personally.

Protection From Yourself

Your right to remain silent can save your ass. There's the obvious example of refraining from answering questions from the police, but its protection goes beyond just that scenario.

If you're in an ugly lawsuit, as is the case here with Matt and WP Engine, then it also protects you from yourself. Specifically, it protects you from your emotions.

Emotions aren't rational, they are jaded by your own perception. When you act out of emotion, you're broadcasting a very personalized worldview, and that worldview may be wrong in the eyes of a jury. Especially if it's emotionally charged.

Exercising your right to remain silent is honorable. In fact, I'd argue that there are times when it is more powerful than speaking freely. Matt has indicated that he will be staying silent until the judge makes a ruling on the injunction.

I hope that he sees the value in exercising this right.

#WordPress

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Trying to calm my internal noise to live in the moment. I find that this is way easier said than done.

I'm working towards my higher self, but what that is, I don't know. What I do know is that to get there, I need to surrender and let go, but this is something I am still having difficulty doing.

I am trying to release myself from any burden of my past or present. To stop trying to control every scenario and “practice” through every possible outcome for the events happening in my life. I'm learning to surrender to the notion that I am actually not in control, nor do I need to be. And that is okay. That is freedom.

I know all of this in theory, but putting it into practice is a back and forth battle with my own psyche. At times, I'll get a glimpse of the lightness of letting go, but only a few hours later, I'm back into the swirl of my thinking.

Silence, Peace, and Freedom

This road to my higher self, whatever it is, is worth it — oh, but it's so hard. How do you let go of ego? Or of pride? How do I just accept what is, and feel lighter?

Life doesn't come with a manual, and there are about ten thousand ways to pursue happiness. Every creed and culture has its recommendation. What I am striving for, instead, is silence. Silence is peace, and peace is freedom.

A quiet mind is a virtue, and I don't have it. I'll be sitting and then, BAM, a new thought comes into my consciousness. Maybe it's positive, or perhaps negative, but it's outside my control. It's noise. I'm on a journey to calm this noise to essentially nothing. To just be, and to be okay.

Daily mindfulness is helping.

To achieve the silence, peace, and freedom, I'm trying guided daily mindfulness exercises from a YouTube channel. I typically do them around 7PM every night for about 10–15 minutes, depending on the video.

After these short sessions, my mind feels more at ease. I have a sense of calmness, and sometimes I get inspired. Like today, I was inspired to write this post.

Daily walks are helping, too (sometimes).

I also walk every day, sometimes twice a day, to get some fresh air and reflect. This gives me an opportunity to quiet my mind, but there are times when I also overthink or get lost in thought.

Rumination and catastrophic thinking can creep in during these alone times. It's human nature. I need to be more intentional with my walk. Centered, and exist in the present moment. I'll be practicing that.

Centered Self, Not Self-Centered

I'm working on being centered, because if I can be centered, I can better lean into my higher self.

A quiet mind, in the present moment, will make it possible to listen with a true intent. But I'm in the constant battle of finding the solutions to my life's daily questions. I'm self-centered instead of just centering myself.

It's a slight shift, but it's about thinking outwardly instead of inward. Most people tend to think inward, almost all the time, and almost always in hypotheticals. For instance, I try to predict the future, then predict my reactions to the future.

This isn't mindfulness. This is noise. I'm cutting through this noise the best that I can, but it can be difficult. I'm learning that the most important thing is to just be patient during this process. Patience, I'm finding, is a virtue that's difficult to live. Though, it's through this virtue that I find perspective, balance, and moments of being centered.

#mindfulness

Selling a house has never been so hard.

Since putting our home on the market, we've had countless open houses, a handful of showings, and a few folks who showed genuine interest. But, as soon as something looks to be going well, the potential buyer backs out.

At the center of all this was our realtor. At first, things were fine, but we started noticing that he would bend the truth with us, and on more than one occasion. I mean, we have cameras at the house, so inflating the number of visitors during an Open House is silly. Yet, he would do it every time. Let's just say that we had reached our limit, and it was time to try a different approach.

We have taken new pictures and relisted our home with another agency. We like their vibe. Hopefully this time we have more luck because I hate this limbo.

#personal

My favorite platform for blogging.

Given all the WordPress drama that has been going on, I've seen a number of tweets from people searching for other platforms to use. In light of this, I figured I'd share what I've been using for a number of years now for blogging.

To clarify, this is not a CMS, so if you are looking for a CMS replacement then this one isn't it. However, if you just want to switch over to something reliable and simple for blogging — then keep reading.

In the summer of 2021, I decided to move my personal blog off of WordPress. From a pure blogging standpoint, I'm not a fan of the writing or admin experience of WordPress. I searched around for some other open source options, and stumbled upon WriteFreely, and the hosted option, write.as. The main developer (and founder) is another Matt, but he's not involved in any public disputes.

It's simple, open source blogging software with an emphasis on the writing experience. I have to be honest, it has made blogging fun again for me. No plugins, update notices, clunky themes, or slow loading admin panels. Just a pleasant, distraction-free way to blog about my life. It's also worth noting that the platform supports the principles of the Social Web Foundation.

I am writing this blog post with the markdown editor (in dark mode, ah, my eyes feel so good). That said, there is a rich text editor as well, and their own built-in image hosting service. So, that takes care of both my words and images.

It's pretty easy to categorize posts by adding a hashtag (you can see an example at the end of this post). And to round it all out, there is a built-in email feature so that subscribers get notified of new posts.

And really that's it. That's all I need.

The Themes are... Bad

Not everything is great, though.

Coming from the WordPress world, I am used to an endless selection of themes. Well, this is one area that write.as really struggles in.

They have a list of user donated themes that are just CSS. I was able to cobble together a few things that I liked from each for my previous theme, and it worked nicely from a minimalist point of view. I did the same for my Spanish blog (where I admittedly don't post a lot). If you dig around GitHub, you can find some themes as well, like this one by Francesco.

The simple theme I created for my main site worked well for over three years, but I started to get the itch for something new and more elaborate (the theme you see now). I ended up hiring a developer on UpWork and he completed the project in about a week (which consists of CSS and JavaScript). I love how it all came out!

Of course, if you're proficient in CSS and JS, then you can just whip up something rather quickly and be good to go. That's what my fellow blogger Mark did, and I think his blog looks quite nice.

Getting Started

If you want to host the software yourself, then head on over to WriteFreely. There you can download what you need, and find the instructions for running the software. This is a good option for the nerds out there who like a good challenge.

The other option is to use the hosted service at write.as, which is what I use.

I'd recommend creating a free account on the hosted service first to see if you like the experience. There are some quirks, for sure. The support is mediocre at best, though you probably don't need much support if you're just blogging.

Just don't expect all the bells & whistles of WordPress, and you'll be fine. The platform isn't as mature, is less robust, and still has some odd bugs here or there.

#WordPress

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Who would be ready on day one? The answer is clear.

Did you watch the Vice Presidential debate between Tim Walz and J.D. Vance?

If not, I wouldn't blame you. No one really cares too much about the VP debate, and it certainly hasn't been shown to move the needle much for one party or the other. However, I would argue that it's a little bit different this year.

Typically, we get three presidential debates. But, because Trump is a coward, he is avoiding another debate at all costs. I understand why his team chose that path, because putting his racism, bigotry, and mental decline in front of 70 million Americans wouldn't do them any favors.

So, it goes without saying that Lorena and I watched it. We've been very tuned into this election cycle, given how much is at stake. The most recent debate was incredibly embarrassing for the Republicans. Would Vance do better?

My Key Takeaways

It's tough to capture every important moment of a debate, but here are my key takeaways after watching Walz and Vance discuss everything from immigration to foreign affairs:

• Walz strong on healthcare. This was an area where Walz did really well, in my opinion. He spoke with authority and facts about the role of healthcare in society, from a woman's right to choose to insurance.

• Vance is a good public speaker, but says nothing. Vance is a seasoned public speaker, I won't take that away from him. But he says a lot without saying anything. He danced his way around answering questions, then got upset when he would get fact-checked.

• Walz didn't call out Vance's outrageous claims. I think Walz let Vance get away with too much. Trump didn't save Obamacare. Immigrants aren't causing unaffordable housing.

• Vance refuses to admit Trump lost 2020 election. This was the moment of the debate for me. Vance refused to acknowledge that Trump lost the election, and Walz called him out on it.

• Walz is presidential. Between these two men, Walz is by far the better, more seasoned option should they ever need to step in as President. Full stop.

• Vance dehumanizes immigrants. I'm getting really tired of how Republicans talk about immigrants. It's disgusting how Vance pivoted every question back to illegal immigration. From homes to drugs, to guns, it was ridiculous.

This debate was closer than the debate between Vice President Harris and Donald Trump. Walz started off a little shaky, but caught his rhythm as the debate went on. He stayed on point, rarely dodged a question (of course he did one or two, everyone does), and had one of the best moments when he called out Vance for not acknowledging Trump's overwhelming defeat last election.

Vance did okay, and definitely better than Trump. He has a “try hard” factor about him, whereas Walz just feels more like that guy you know. He didn't make any major “holy crap” mistakes, and that's a win for the Republicans at this point.

I think Walz was too prepared. He fumbled a little over his words because you could tell that he wanted to get certain talking points out. The byproduct of that was he let Vance off the hook on his more outrageous proclamations. All that said, in the end, no one will think too much of this debate in about a week.

We are just 34 days away from the election, easily the most consequential election of my lifetime. There is so much on the line, even more so with the escalating conflicts in Ukraine and Israel.

I'm voting early, and I hope that you do as well.

#politics

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WordPress co-founder, Matt Mullenweg, picks a fight with WP Engine, even calling them a "cancer".

Did you catch Matt's keynote talk at WordCamp U.S. this year? It was pretty boilerplate, as far as his talks usually go, but there was one part that stood out to nearly everyone, and that was his comments towards WP Engine and their lack of contribution to the WordPress project.

Matt expressed his annoyance at the contributions made by WP Engine to WordPress, comparing their 47 hours per week to Automattic's 3,786 hours per week.

“Those of us who are makers, who create the source, need to be wary of those who would take our creations and squeeze out the juice. They’re grifters who will hop onto the next fad, but we’re trying to build something big here, something long term—something that lasts for generations. Think about that next time it comes up to renew your hosting or domain, weigh your dollars towards companies that give back more, because you’ll get back more, too. Freedom isn’t free.”

Those are some pretty strong words, and I'm sure it doesn't feel good to be called out in a negative light at one of the biggest WordPress events of the year. As such, I was curious to see the response from WP Engine, as these were some harsh words from the man at the top. I put a tweet out saying the same:

That post (which cited an article on WPTavern) started a lively discussion about the point raised by Matt during his talk.

As you would expect, WP Engine wasn't far behind with their response. In summary, they said something to the effect of:

• WP Engine has contributed to WordPress innovation for over a decade, advancing the ecosystem and supporting developers and millions of websites.
• They invest heavily in the community through sponsorships, educational events like DE{CODE}, and development tools such as Faust.js and WPGraphQL.
• WP Engine is committed to fostering creativity and empowering WordPress developers to keep the CMS at the forefront of web development.

For more, see WP Engine's article.

The Point vs The Delivery

Matt has become far more divisive in recent years. Call it the size of WordPress, or maybe just the demeanor of someone who has been the focus of so many attacks for two decades. Whatever the reason, he's clearly tired of being politically correct all the time.

What often happens is that he will make a point, people argue the point for a moment, then they start to get angry at the way the point was raised. They attack the messenger, for lack of a better term.

But it's not like it isn't warranted at times.

I've been around WordPress long enough to have seen Matt air out personal vendettas rather publicly, wrapped up in some kind of “I'm looking out for what's best for everyone” sentiment.

This actually ends up having the opposite effect in that the focus shifts to Matt (the person), not what it is he's trying to point out. Because, look, as far as I can tell there is a valid point there. This post by Noel does a pretty good job outlining that point:

I think what's pretty telling, though, is that this comment by Noel was a response to a poll that Matt ran, and it shows how the majority of folks disagree with his take on WP Engine's role within WordPress.

But it keeps going...

Matt has been popping up across various channels, seemingly defending his view and attempting to make points about WP Engine's lack of contributions despite their size and financial resources. Unfortunately, those points are now falling upon deaf ears because of the manner and frequency in which the “attacks” are coming.

Matt published this post on the official WordPress.org news about how WP Engine turns off revision history, an important feature in WordPress core, to save money. To drive home another point, he used a mini-story about his mom confusing the two brands (WP Engine and WordPress), which was the basis for the title of the post. To cap it off, he referred to WP Engine as “a cancer”. Yikes.

This made me wonder a few things:

1. Are a lot of people confusing WP Engine (the brand) with WordPress?
2. Is it ever okay to call businesses, and the people working there, “cancer”?
3. Should this have been posted on his personal blog, instead?

Speaking of the personal blog, Matt did write a blog post about investors, and if they are inherently “bad”. Something he likely wanted to touch on because of WP Engine's impressive investment over the years. He contends:

• Investors are essential for entrepreneurship, but there are both good and bad investors. It's important to evaluate their track record and actions after investing.
• Private equity investors can be beneficial, especially when they respect open-source values and support the community, as seen with Automattic's investors.
• Actions matter more than words; companies should be judged based on how their behavior impacts communities and ecosystems over time.

I'm not surprised by his viewpoint given that Automattic has taken its fair share of investment, though I do take exception to his claim that investors are essential for entrepreneurship. That is not true at all.

Just speaking from my own experience, I never had a single investor, and LearnDash not only did well, it thrived. In fact, we absolutely destroyed Automattic's competing product to LearnDash (Sensei). I didn't even consider them a credible competitor.

His Mind is Made Up

Matt has always taken on the role of “open source protector”, and whenever he feels that it is being taken advantage of, he attacks — and his attacks can be quite harsh. He clearly feels that this is happening with WP Engine, though it also has an adverse effect for him in that the community starts to highlight some hypocrisy:

History has shown that when Matt makes his mind up about something, nothing will shake him from it. If anything, backlash makes him dig in further. He will go down on that ship, but he knows that the ship will never go down, because the ocean is the community that contributes to, and depends on, WordPress in their daily lives.

Qualifying Contributions is in Poor Taste

If I take the time to separate the inflammatory rhetoric and poor choice of message delivery, I do think that there is an important point that Matt is bringing to the community's attention. WP Engine indeed does have the fortunate position to contribute more to WordPress in terms of hours. What I don't like, however, is that Matt is outlining what he considers to be an acceptable contribution. Sponsoring WordCamps? That doesn't count. Not to him, anyway.

This has a way of polarizing the less visible in the community. The individual developer who has a small plugin business is proud to sponsor their local WordCamp, but the message being sent from the boardroom is that this is a “meh” form of contribution. In other words, don't feel too good about it. It's not really valued.

Matt has come down hard on WordPress hosts for some time. GoDaddy, Pagely (now part of GoDaddy), and Pantheon come to mind. I think he has a higher expectation of them than the “average” WordPress user.

And maybe we all should.

They are the ones with the money and resources to really move the needle for the WordPress project. To date, it doesn't appear like any host is living up to Matt's unspoken expectation.

Legal Updates

On September 23, 2024, not too long after this post was originally published, WP Engine issued a cease & desist against Matt and Automattic.

I must say, he does not look good, especially all the threatening texts he sent prior to starting his public attacks on WP Engine.

One day later, on September 24, 2024, Matt and Automattic issued their own cease & desist with some heavy emphasis on the use of the WordPress trademark.

This is interesting, because there are many businesses that use the “WordPress” name similarly to WP Engine. This could have some far-reaching ramifications for the entire industry, depending on how it plays out.

On October 2, 2024, WP Engine filed their official lawsuit.

#WordPress

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Your body learns to need caffeine. It's time to unlearn.

Recently, Lorena and I were talking about nutrition, foods, bad habits, and the like. It’s a topic we often discuss as it’s a passion of hers, and together we have made some healthy adjustments in our daily lives.

To date, I’ve made a number of changes in my nutrition, but there has always been one area that I never even considered changing: my coffee intake.

For nearly my entire adult life, I’ve had three cups of coffee each day — sometimes four if I’m dragging. I really enjoy coffee and look forward to that first cup every morning, and I’m fortunate that at this point in my life I don’t have any major sensitivities to it.

Caffeine hits Lorena a little bit differently, and while she enjoyed the flavor and energy kick occasionally, it wasn’t a value add in her life, so she gave it up.

So, back to this conversation. Lorena asked me, point-blank:

Would you ever consider giving up coffee?

I dismissed the idea, at first. I told her that it’s not that bad, and that it’s only three cups. I went on to explain how much I enjoy coffee, and the reasons I needed it to start the day right.

She let it go, but the topic remained in my mind.

I Have Become Coffee Dependent

Without my three cups, I just don’t feel right. I may get a headache, or be lethargic. It can impact my mood as well. When we go out of town, I always need to find a place with “decent enough” coffee, so I’m fueled for the day.

For years, I considered coffee to just be something I enjoyed. The reality, however, is that I was addicted. It eerily reminds me of the issue I had with alcohol. The negative impacts weren’t as obvious, but they were there.

But I also love having something warm, and the flavor of coffee in the morning. After doing a little research, I learned the following:

• A standard cup of coffee (8oz) has ~100mg of caffeine, give or take. I was having 300mg each day.
• The American Heart Association recommends no more than 400mg per day.

I was within the appropriate caffeine range, but that doesn’t mean loading up my system with caffeine every day (leading to a physical addiction), is a good thing. At the same time, cutting everything cold turkey didn’t sound very appealing. I still wanted to drink coffee, and I wasn't quite ready for the decaf life.

Landing on Half-Caff

I figured that I had two options:

1. Drink 2 cups instead of 3 cups
2. Drink something else

While the first option seems like the easiest, it is something that I’ve tried in the past and just never could stick to. Maybe it's a lack of willpower, but I just really enjoy three cups. After two, I start to get anxious for that third and begin to justify why it’s okay to have it. Some days I would have it, some days I wouldn’t — there was no consistency.

Which brings up the second point: maybe I just drink something else?

Thing is, I like the way coffee tastes, so teas would never work. Nor would those mushroom drinks that have become popular. I don’t care for the flavor.

That left decaf and half-caff coffee as my remaining options. I chose to go with half-caff.

Making the switch has been… interesting.

Funnily enough, the decaf industry is quite expansive. Coffee shops of all sizes try their best to make a good tasting decaf coffee, and they are quite good at it. That said, I wasn’t ready to give up caffeine entirely. Not yet, anyway.

So, I decided to search for some good half-caff beans. This came with the advantage of being able to still drink three cups in the morning, still get a little caffeine, but also decrease my body’s dependency on caffeine.

Instead of 300mg of caffeine, I’d be having 150mg. I’d still be getting a little bit of energy benefit, but less than my body has been used to for 15 years or so.

The hardest part in this process has been finding a good tasting, organic whole bean to grind. I finally found some good options by Fresh Roasted Coffee LLC, but I’m always keeping an eye out to see if there are other options.

Switching to Decaf... One Day

I’ve been at it for a couple of weeks and my withdrawal symptoms have subsided, but they are still there. Most notably, I am a little more tired in the morning, even after my three cups. I hope that this becomes less impactful as my body makes the full adjustment to the new caffeine levels, and learns how to “maximize” them.

I don’t rule out the possibility of getting completely off caffeine. I mean, it’s probably a net positive in the end. For now, I’m just trying to adjust to the new half-caff routine.

I’ll end by saying this: Take opportunities to assess, and challenge your assumptions — especially regarding what you put into your body. Just because you have been doing it one way your entire life doesn’t mean a change won’t benefit your health and happiness.

For me right now, it’s coffee. But this could be said for any routine we have in our lives.

#health

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