Lorena and I have been living in San Clemente, California since January 2023, after moving from Austin, Texas. It’s easily the most beautiful place I have ever lived.

Situated less than a mile from the beach, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to go to the ocean – my favorite thing to do. There are palm trees all over, the sun is (almost) always shining, and the temperature doesn’t get too hot nor cold.

Without question, my favorite part of where we live is the ocean view from our upstairs living room, where I admired the sunset every evening.

That said, after some lengthy conversations for the past six months or so, we’ve decided that San Clemente is just not where we want to be for the long term.

As beautiful as it is, there is something missing.

To put it plainly: Orange County lacks the diversity we value.

Diversity in people, culture, thoughts, food, and activities. It’s closed off and slow. In San Clemente, you find either retirees, or San Clemente families who have lived here for generations. It’s not close to any real major city, so in many ways it feels like you’re stuck on an island.

At this stage of our lives, we desire more. We started to look at bigger cities again, specifically San Diego and Los Angeles. We actually met in San Diego, so it holds a special place in our hearts. But after a bit of conversation, neither of us were really that excited to go back. Nothing against the city personally, we just wanted to move onto something new and different.

Landing on Culver City.

After ruling out anywhere south of San Clemente, our sights shifted north to Los Angeles. LA has the diversity we crave, and a vibe that we really mesh well with on a personal level. There are so many different neighborhoods, and each one has its own look & feel.

We spent many weekends taking trips up to learn more about the city and to see some homes. In the end, we found a place in Culver City. It’s a great mix of a family-oriented community with easy walkability to cafés, shops, and more. As an added bonus, it has its own school district, police, and other public services given that it is a separate city from LA.

We are thrilled to have landed in a place where we are excited about the daily life, and the opportunities. Now all we have to do is sell our home!

#personal

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I’ve been playing online chess for a decade, which naturally means that I started later in life. I’ve played countless games over the years, at times more frequently than others. Chess online can be fun, but it can also get a little boring.

Typically, I play on chess.com and lichess.org, but recently I found the FIDE Online Arena (FOA). This is the online chess site sponsored by FIDE, the organizing body for all things chess in the world (similar to FIFA for soccer).

Anyway, I was checking it out, and I learned that they had chess titles for online players. Specifically:

• Arena Candidate Master
• Arena FIDE Master
• Arena International Master
• Arena Grandmaster

These are different from over-the-board titles:

• Candidate Master
• FIDE Master
• International Master
• Grandmaster

The Arena Candidate Master (ACM) title.

The prospect of working towards an official title online sounded appealing, so I signed-up and started playing FOA rated games. All I had to do was maintain a score of 1100-1400 for 100 blitz games. Easy, right?

Well, not so much. The FIDE Online Arena has strong players. On chess.com, my rating is typically 1800-1900. My rating on the FOA site started off in the low 1200s. I had to really focus if I was going to get this title.

So, I slowed down and started playing more sound openings. I started practicing tactics as well when I wasn’t playing games.

Last weekend, it all came to fruition as I earned my Arena Candidate Master title (with a rating of 1337), which appears on the official FIDE site.

I’m pretty happy about it if I’m honest. And no, this title isn’t something that’s highly respected in the hardcore chess circles (only over the board titles, like International Master and Grandmaster, get esteemed recognition).

But I don’t play in-person tournaments, so this is all I got.

I’m going to savor it for the time being and just get back to playing for fun. One day, I might try for the Arena FIDE Master. That’ll take a considerable effort, though. For now, I’m just enjoying this one.

#personal

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Lorena and I just got back from Mexico City visiting her parents where her sisters also came in from Connecticut and New York. It was a good way to get a break from the normal routine we’ve had the past few months preparing for a move to a new city.

We celebrated Father’s Day and her older sister’s birthday, relaxed, and got together with extended family during our week visit. It was really enjoyable, as usual.

Mexico is pretty hot in the summer, but not like Texas (which is terrible). It was nice to see the sun though because we have been experiencing a heavy dose of “June Gloom” this year.

We’re back in California again, as we get set to move for what is hopefully the last time for a long time.

#personal

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Yesterday, it finally happened: I got my third stripe in Gracie jiu-jitsu.

I started doing BJJ in April last year as a way to get some more exercise and learn some useful skills for both fun and self-defense. It also got me out of the house, which was another important factor.

In July, I got my first stripe, and by September, I received my second stripe. I was making good progress, but I was also feeling a little unmotivated by my gym after eight months.

I took a break over the holidays and then looked for a new gym. I tried out a few that were much closer to my home and really enjoyed them, but that’s when I re-injured my bicep tendon. It forced me to take time off from all activity.

I thought a lot about BJJ during that time. It’s something I want to continue to do as I age, and I talked with the instructor at my original gym about this goal. He was very supportive and really helped me out.

He has since left the gym, but I started to take private lessons slowly as my physical therapy started to work for my injury. It’s still not 100% better, but I’m able to attend classes now outside of private lessons, and that’s when I received my third stripe.

It’s been a long journey, but that’s something I’ve come to realize as I’m about to enter into my 40s: don’t rush. I look forward to gradually progressing, and (hopefully) staying injury free!

#personal

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Today marks three years since Lorena and I exchanged our vows in Austin.

In these three years, our lives have been filled with so many incredible memories, it has actually felt like much longer. Whether it’s the quiet evenings spent together or the festive gatherings with loved ones, I’ve really made a point to cherish every second.

With each year, our bond deepens, and just like on our first date, she continues to captivate me – and I can’t get enough of her laugh.

Here’s to another year, and many more moments and memories together.

#personal

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Two months ago, I re-injured my bicep tendon by pushing myself a little too much in my workout routine, and it was made worse as I ignore the pain due to being in denial. This was an injury that I sustained last year around the same time, and it took a few months before I was able to do my normal activities.

I’ve been rehabbing the injury the past 60-days, and I’m a lot better than before, but not out of the woods yet. I’d say that the pain is consistently a 1 out of 10, but it can flare up a little depending on the activity. This same thing happened to me last year, and it wasn’t until eight or so months after the initial injury that I was 100% healed.

I’m still recovering, but I have decided to take one private jiu-jitsu lesson a week! I’m really excited about that, and we are extra careful not to aggravate anything. It has been good for my mental health!

Took a Private BJJ Lesson

Last year, I started BJJ about two months into the recovery of this same injury. I’d have to ice and massage my shoulder after classes, and was always extra careful. Sometimes it would flare up quite a bit, and I’d have to cut back on the number of classes for that week, but I managed it well, and soon it didn’t give me any issue.

This time around, the one thing I’ve been trying to do is get back to a point where I could participate in BJJ again. I was extremely frustrated, board line depressed, at the timing of my injury because it sort of derailed that entire plan.

But my shoulder has felt better the past few weeks (despite minor setbacks). I decided to try getting back into BJJ, but slowly.

Last Saturday, I took a private lesson from the gym that I left. I’ve been communicating with them since my injury, and they were very supportive, answered my questions, encouraged me, and offered up solutions to help me out. It was really above and beyond. Quite frankly, it wasn’t like anything I’d experienced at any of the other gyms that I tried since leaving.

The private class went well, but I’m still not quite ready for action. I have other priorities to take care of right now, so that will give me an opportunity to rest for about another month. Once that’s done, I’ll begin incorporating classes again at a Gracie Jiu-jitsu certified training center.

#personal

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One thing that Lorena and I are trying to be open to this year is taking quicker, shorter trips. For example, we are going for less than a week to Portland, Oregon in April (which we are both really looking forward to).

But this month, we took a cross-country flight to Connecticut to visit her sisters, and our nephew for a couple of days – then came right back home. Her parents were also in town, so that of course be nice. Actually, we did something similar last year, but stayed a tad longer.

While on the topic of travel, we are looking at the calendar for other mini-trips to take. Chicago looks like a possible destination as it will be an opportunity to see my brother and his family. I’m sure we’ll sneak Michigan and Mexico in there as well.

Oh, and this was our first time ever taking Alaska Airlines, so it only seemed fitting to include a picture of one of their airplanes. I thought that it would be less crowded for checking in, but it was about the same as Delta (United has been the best experience).

We had to pay an extra $100 for our bag too because it was over 50lbs. Normally the limit is 72lbs on other airlines – so that was a surprise. Aside from that, our experience was good. I would fly with them again.

#personal

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In late February, I re-injured my bicep tendon when working out. The pain is in the front of my shoulder where the tendons can get impinged. It's a dull, constant pain, and I lose strength for any pushing motions.

I didn’t know it at the time, but the day after I initially hurt it again, I made it worse by lifting, and then by going to two BJJ classes later in that week. I think a part of me was in denial.

The mental toll of this re-injury has been difficult. I wanted so badly to get into a solid routine with BJJ, but everything was halted before it began.

Fool me twice, shame on me…

I had this injury last year (about this same time) due to overuse of my bicep tendon from a rigorous weight-lifting routine. It knocked me out of all activities for 2–3 months, and I had to give up Muay Thai altogether. Actually, that’s what led me to start BJJ. I didn't do any physical therapy. I just rested, and then slowly started to do things like push-ups as time went on.

I’ve stopped doing any of my normal activities again, but this time I’m doing things a little different. I’m taking a more active role in my recovery so that I can strengthen my body in a way to prevent this from happening again:

• Physical therapy exercises every day
• Physical therapy appointment once a week
• Acupuncture once a week
• Massages once a week

Each week, I’ll assess how things are going. I can say that so far, I feel a noticeable improvement in the injury. It’s still there, but definitely not as pronounced as it was at the beginning. This is encouraging. Over the next two or three weeks, I’ll slowly increase the length of my physical therapy workouts to see how it holds up.

Going forward, I am completely changing the way that I work out.

The second (more important) part of my recovery is changing my entire outlook on working out so that this doesn't happen anymore.

For my entire life, I’ve always enjoyed pushing my body in various ways. Whether it was with HIIT workouts, or weightlifting, I tried to maximize the time spent. This often meant increasing the intensity.

As I am now middle-aged, I see that these workouts have a greater possibility of causing injury. Possibly due to the intensity and the frequency.

Funny thing is: I don’t even enjoy these kinds of workouts. I do them out of habit more than anything. What I really enjoy are athletic pursuits, like BJJ.

Work out to support my hobby.

Instead of working out to look good, or because it’s the “healthy thing to do”, my focus is now to simply support my ability to do BJJ. This means that I’ll only do some light resistance training on my off days, with the primary goal of strengthening and supporting my body for BJJ class. That’s it.

In addition, I will incorporate specific rest and recovery days (massage and acupuncture). I think this will help me to build a better mind & body connection. My mind has been 25, but my body 39. That disconnect has resulted in these frustrating injuries.

As shitty as this injury recurrence has been, I think the lessons learned will mean that I will enter my forties with solid health & fitness habits that are centered around enabling me to progress in BJJ.

#personal

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I’m mentally struggling.

At the end of 2022, I had to stop training Muay Thai because of overuse of my bicep tendon. The pain for this kind of injury runs through the front of the shoulder, and it’s a nagging, dull pain that only gets worse over time.

To get better, I had to stop Muay Thai altogether, and all weightlifting in fact. I couldn’t do anything that would aggravate my bicep tendon.

After a couple of months, it felt better, but I couldn’t go back to my typical weights and boxing routine. So, I changed my workout entirely, which led me to starting Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Well, the injury is back.

A week ago, I was trying a new workout that involved incline pushups, among other things. This new angle put stress on my bicep tendon, which caused that ever-annoying pain to flair up again.

I mistakenly thought I was just a little sore from the workout, so the next day I lifted weights and noticed the pain as well. It was at this point that I should have rested, but I did something to make it even worse.

The following day, I had my trial class at a new BJJ gym. I had been looking forward to this for a month, so I didn’t want to miss it. I had a great class, but as you would imagine, my bicep tendon didn’t take kindly and the pain was even more pronounced in my shoulder. Still, I signed up for the gym after the class.

Two days later, I went for another BJJ class. It was fun, but I was noticeably hindered by the pain in my shoulder. After this class, I went home and iced my shoulder for the first time. The reality was sinking in…

I need to stop all activity.

After that second BJJ class, I knew that I had to cut off all exercise activity that involved my upper body. This has been a significant blow to my happiness for a couple of reasons.

First, I had been looking forward to training BJJ really seriously this year. I even set a personal goal that within 18 months I would reach blue belt. It’s beyond frustrating that I only got two classes in and I have to stop. It’s really hard.

Second, working out is a big part of my life. My entire week is often scheduled with various workouts: BJJ, body weight exercises, lifting weights, going on walks, and various other activities.

Cutting most of these out is like having to take away a part of who I am, what I love, and what I value. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke weed. The high I get after a good workout is my drug. Without it, I go through pretty heavy withdrawals.

Recovery mode… again.

It feels like weeks, but I’m only three full days into my recovery. Any hope I had of this going away as I continue training BJJ is out the window. I’m looking at, most likely, 4–6 weeks before I can start to experiment with upper body exercises.

I’m no longer icing the injury and have switched to heat. I sit in the hot tub at least once a day, take a hot shower, and have a heating pad that I use several times throughout the day as well. I also have started weekly acupuncture, as I believe that helped me last time as well.

But, more than anything, I need to just rest.

So, that is where I am at. I came to write here because I needed to get it out of my head. I’m struggling.

#personal

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Earlier this month, Lorena and I flew into Cancun for her childhood friend’s wedding in Playa del Carmen. Unlike the wedding in January, Lorena was part of the wedding party, so she was involved in the entire process leading up to the wedding and, of course, on the day of.

We also saw this as an opportunity to take some time for ourselves.

We ended up staying at the beautiful House of AiA hotel, which describes itself as a wellness retreat. I can agree with that. We got some massages, relaxed on the beach, ordered room service, ate at the vegan-vegetarian restaurants, and participated in a meditation session. It was unlike any hotel I’ve stayed in before.

Dancing by the ocean.

The wedding was on Saturday, and it was really great – the most fun I have personally had at a wedding in Mexico. Lorena knew everyone on the bride’s side because she grew up with most of them. I know that she really enjoyed that part.

The ceremony and reception both took place on the beach, literal steps from the ocean. It was a smaller event, with around 80 people (compared to the ~250 at the one in January). This made it a more intimate evening as we had the chance to interact with everyone.

After the ceremony, we just walked to our tables. As the sun began to set, we ate our meals, talked with others at our table, and prepared for a night full of dancing.

There was a slight negative, unfortunately. I ate something that didn’t sit well with me, and I was throwing up the next day (it wasn’t alcohol, because I didn’t drink). I got over it pretty quickly though, as the hotel had a doctor on site, and gave me some shots to help with the nausea.

A week in Mexico City.

We spent a couple more days enjoying the hotel and weather before we left for Mexico City, where we spent a week with Lorena’s parents, older sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. It was mostly chill, but we did have one day when some family came over for a dinner to celebrate my father-in-law’s birthday as well as my own.

I haven’t written much about it lately, but it’s in moments like these that I realize how far I have come with my Spanish. I spoke nearly the entire time with friends and family in Spanish. I’m fluent, but I’m not perfect. That said, with each of these interactions, I get a little bit better.

We are home now, and I must admit that it feels really good. I’m looking forward to getting into a more regular routine here in California.

#personal

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